Living in a society, within a community and within routine means you are expected to conform and invariably do. It's made me into a person I never wanted to be. The one that always puts other people first. When all I've ever wanted to do was put myself first but never had the balls to do it. The reason I am where I am now is because of putting other people first and never having the spine to be selfish.
I only have myself to blame.
I am very much in admiration of people who put themselves and their well being first. Because they are the ones who are honest to themselves and that's an important thing. Those of us who fit in, do what we are told and tow the line will invariably end up looking back on our lives wondering what went wrong or where the time went. I often wonder what I would be doing now if I'd just put myself first.
Of course, saying that is easy enough. But wasted time is just that. Changing the habits of a lifetime is something else. Do you make a conscious decision to start right there and then? Or do you use your next move as the chance to start again and let new people see the refined you?
I suppose the most courageous choice is to start right here and now. And so I've made the decision. Already it's getting results. And in many ways it's easier than meeting expectation. And sometimes it's just a bit fun too.
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