The past five months and, particularly those since I started this blog, have been some of the most turbulent, inspirational, productive, daunting and dare I say confusing of my life. People have come and gone and some have come back again. On the horizon looms one of the most monumental changes I've ever had to commit to and as that reality dawns I have gained an entirely new insight into how I live my life.
There is a phrase that I have used on this blog before which comes from Alice in Wonderland. It says 'It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then'. It is an incredibly poignant statement right now because there are people and events in my life that have completely reshaped my outlook and mean I can never go back to the way things used to be.
And I wouldn't change it for the world because all these changes have been for the better even if some of them have been painful, soul destroying and just downright uninspiring. They have taught me how to be more patient with the things I don't understand, resilience in myself and who my friends really are (or has at least affirmed what I already knew). I have gained incredible knowledge into the people around me and in those moments this has strengthened considerably some of my relationships. This is all a good thing.
In just a couple of months, a way of life I have enjoyed entirely will suddenly end. My three years at the University of Lincoln comes to fruition and I must stand on my own two feet as a business owner, putting all my skills into practice, proving not only to everyone around me but also to me that I made the right decision and that this isn't so much a leap of faith as a conscious decision.
Previously I would have doubted I could do it, but something has changed and I am no longer frightened that I might fail. In many ways I am looking forward to living my working life with a whole new dynamic. No longer dreading the Monday to Friday 9 to 5 but immersing myself every day in my passion. That is a precious gift. And if I can make it work financially then all is well with the world.
As for everything else, well you can't predict how things will pan out, or how people will change. I have my hopes and dreams of course, but essentially I can't do anything about much of it. But I am hoping those dynamics will stay as they are because right here, right now, this is where I want to be and this is the way I want things to stay.
Monday, 5 March 2012
Saturday, 3 March 2012
# 62 Self indulgence
I had an interesting chat with a friend the other day.
We had both looked at the sacrifices we had made over the years for other people and what we'd got in return. Now, I know you shouldn't go out purposefully looking for return favours every time you do something for someone else, but it occurred to us that we had spent most of our adult lives pleasing other people. Family, friends, partners, society in general, sticking to the rules and being a 'model citizen'.
To be honest with you I'm getting pretty sick of playing by the rules. Especially as I've discovered they are only there to be broken.
And it appears we have reached the same conclusion at the same time, quite independently - that it's high time we started being a little more selfish, self congratulatory and self rewarding. We realised that if we don't do it, no one else is going to.
I for one don't want to look back in 10 years and wonder what I did that really made me happy. Yes there are things that are very satisfying about my life and I'm not about to pretend that I haven't lead a very productive and useful life to date, but sometimes you just need a break to get what YOU want and to immerse yourself just occasionally in complete and total self indulgent escapism.
So we've both made a decision. We're going to take what we want, have fun and just bloody well enjoy it.
We had both looked at the sacrifices we had made over the years for other people and what we'd got in return. Now, I know you shouldn't go out purposefully looking for return favours every time you do something for someone else, but it occurred to us that we had spent most of our adult lives pleasing other people. Family, friends, partners, society in general, sticking to the rules and being a 'model citizen'.
To be honest with you I'm getting pretty sick of playing by the rules. Especially as I've discovered they are only there to be broken.
And it appears we have reached the same conclusion at the same time, quite independently - that it's high time we started being a little more selfish, self congratulatory and self rewarding. We realised that if we don't do it, no one else is going to.
I for one don't want to look back in 10 years and wonder what I did that really made me happy. Yes there are things that are very satisfying about my life and I'm not about to pretend that I haven't lead a very productive and useful life to date, but sometimes you just need a break to get what YOU want and to immerse yourself just occasionally in complete and total self indulgent escapism.
So we've both made a decision. We're going to take what we want, have fun and just bloody well enjoy it.
Friday, 2 March 2012
# 61 Lost Days
How time flies....
I hadn't even realised I'd failed to post up yesterday. Shameful! It must have been something to do with the wonderful spring weather we're having this week. That and the impending deadlines of University. Yes, we've got just 3 weeks to get our collections finished before the Easter break. But then we have an insanely long holiday for a month so I'm not complaining really.
Hopefully tomorrow will bring a more interesting blog. I have a fantastic launch event to attend tonight so I'm sure I can find something to tell you about that. :)
I hadn't even realised I'd failed to post up yesterday. Shameful! It must have been something to do with the wonderful spring weather we're having this week. That and the impending deadlines of University. Yes, we've got just 3 weeks to get our collections finished before the Easter break. But then we have an insanely long holiday for a month so I'm not complaining really.
Hopefully tomorrow will bring a more interesting blog. I have a fantastic launch event to attend tonight so I'm sure I can find something to tell you about that. :)
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