I have spent most of the last two weeks lying on my back, on a sofa, in my PJ's wishing I could die. Yes, I've been ill and since I don't do ill very often, I also do it badly and without grace.
Christmas was almost cancelled but somehow I was granted an 11th hour reprieve and at 3pm on Christmas Eve I jumped in the car and whizzed off to Kent to see my family. It's going to be a short break however, since I have 10 days of catch up which includes housework, business admin and general getting back to normality. No rest for the wicked it would seem.
I don't know whether it was being ill or the general foisting of Christmas upon us at the ridiculous season of 'summer' but I really wasn't that bothered about the festivities this year. I never got that Christmas feeling at all. And I know I'm not alone in feeling like this. I'm sure it's a combination of incessant advertising morning noon and night, and the general air of recession upon us which hasn't helped. It's hard to feel jolly about Christmas, feasting and presents (well Christmas IS the most materialistic time of year) when you don't have the funds to spend and all around you stores are vying for your money.
I blew my entire December profits on the meagre offerings I could make to friends and family this year and it felt like a real let down. All I can think about now is how I'm going to make it through January, the longest month between paychecks and even longer when you're the business with a niche market.
I don't expect for one minute I am the only one feeling the apprehension of what lies ahead in 2013 and I will think of more positive things to write about over the next few days but for now, it's an overriding thought in my head. It's very hard to switch off.
But for now, back to the turkey sandwiches.